Protestantism

» paper_turtle - What Is It We Look For In God?

Phil wrote:
what is it that WE look for in God? And, does what we want in God have anything to do with what God has been made to be in our thinking? What makes sense to us as the various groups provide us with their offerings of what and who God is? What do we want to see in any view of God before we will accept it?
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Is this the kind of question we can approach with any legitimacy? Or is it an example thinking that is forbidden from human beings. Do we have the right to question our own thoughts about God?
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I could probably write a book about this, so forgive me if my response gets long.
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My earliest recollections about God was that he was a loving Father who cared deeply for all His children--of any age, race, nationality, or gender.
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As I say in another current thread, my father was/is an agnostic, and my mother was/is a Christian (who didn't believe in poosletizing, and therefore didn't talk about doctrine). I didn't hear Bible stories, and I never attended church until I was in high school. I did, however, pray and read the Bible, and I also did a lot of reading centering on spiritual topics.
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I became a Methodist in high school and was very active in the church until I married and moved to West Berlin, Germany with my first husband (who was in the Army). Shortly after he and I were married, his parents converted to an ultra-conservative church. During the two years that he and I were in Berlin, most of their letters to us were about how we had to get right with God--according to the doctrines of their new church.
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When we returned to Vermont, my husband wanted to attend the church of his parents. I went along with it, and made a sincere effort to accept this church's beliefs. I just couldn't do it.
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One night, when my daughter was 2-3 years old, I had a dream about the God of Dread. I dreamed a little boy was praying to the God of Dread, and even though the imagery he used in his dream was horrifying his face was radiant with joy. In the dream I realized than many people worship the God of Dread. I woke up in a cold sweat, and vowed that I would never let my daughter become a worshipper of such a God. I believe the dream was *from* God, telling me He was Who I believed Him to be.
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The God I have known since childhood is all loving. He does not want us to come to him in fear. He gave us free choice, and freedom of choice is negated when one decides on the basis of fear of eternal damnation.
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I couldn't accept what my former in-laws church was telling me because their God only loved and accepted certain people, and condoned hating those who did not belong to the fold. Their God was full of wrath and fury. Their God delighted in scaring his children and crushing infidels.
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I was born with intellect and creativity. My parents told me these were gifts from God. I still believe this is true. The people in my in-laws church told me God didn't want me to use the mind he gave me. They told me art and poetry were the devil's works. They told me I was less worthy because I was a woman and not a man.
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My maternal grandmother (a Baptist, by the way) told me I would know who was good by their fruits. She told me I could figure out who was speaking truth by matching their words to their actions. When I looked at the fruits of the people in my in-laws church I saw judgmentalism, gossip, pettiness, meanness of spirit. I concluded God was not Who these people said he was.
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peace and love,
Paper Turtle

-- posted by paper_turtle