Protestantism

» HeadZenCards - Eccl 5:7-20

In response to Eccl 5:1-6 posted by paper_turtle:

Ecc. 5:7 For in the multitude of dreams and many words there are also divers vanities: but FEAR THOU GOD.

Oh, come on! Fearing God is fearing in the very KINGDOM of dreams. This is called paranoia.

If there is a God, why would she want you to fear her? Do you really think she gets some kind of sick kick out of YOUR attitude towards her?

5:8 If thou seest the oppression of the poor, and violent perverting of judgment and justice in a province, marvel not at the matter: for he that is higher than the highest regardeth; and there be higher than they.

Yeah, don't worry about the poor or the violence caused by people doing the King's will. And don't you dare do a damm thing about it either. Just be scared that God will stomp on your butt for coveting your neighbor's ass.

5:9 Moreover the profit of the earth is for all: the king himself is served by the field.

The King is served first, of course.

5:10 He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.

And he will damm sure not be satisifed with the King's silver, because all the King's men will get it back and make you wish you had stayed home and feared God in the closet so much that you wet your pants before you DARE take his silver!

5:11 When goods increase, they are increased that eat them: and what good is there to the owners thereof, saving the beholding of them with their eyes?

Owners thereof? Oh.... only slaves and kings are allowed any food.

5:12 The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.

Yeah, every laborer is comforted by that one. Sure am glad I slaved so hard today that I'm exhausted and can sleep sweetly. It must be ROUGH being a rich King, unable to sleep, what with that pretty little thing I saw crawl into his window.

5:13 There is a sore evil which I have seen under the sun, namely, riches kept for the owners thereof to their hurt.

The only sore the King had to worry about was the one he contracted from that pretty little thing.

5:14 But those riches perish by evil travail: and he begetteth a son, and there is nothing in his hand.

Is he talking about the LORD GOD here?

5:15 As he came forth of his mother's womb, naked shall he return to go as he came, and shall take nothing of his labour, which he may carry away in his hand.

... but boy, oh boy, did the King have some fun while it lassted!

5:16 And this also is a sore evil, that in all points as he came, so shall he go: and what profit hath he that hath laboured for the wind?

Certainly the King shared no profit that he couldn't spare with the laborer.

5:17 All his days also he eateth in darkness, and he hath much sorrow and wrath with his sickness.

And no electricty or health plan...

5:18 Behold that which I have seen: it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion.

Just as long as it was not the King's portion....

5:19 Every man also to whom God hath given riches and wealth, and hath given him power to eat thereof, and to take his portion, and to rejoice in his labour; this is the gift of God.

And God and the King want to let the women know that they should keep their mouths shut if they want any.

5:20 For he shall not much remember the days of his life; because God answereth him in the joy of his heart.

And God said: "Be afraid!"

-- posted by HeadZenCards