My personal advice to people looking for a loving, yet biblically-grounded congregation within which they can worship the Lord and serve their community.
There are so many churches out there. So many denominations. How is a family to choose? Here are some tips I would suggest to any family or individual looking for a church home.
1) Pray. I know that sounds trite, but I believe in God and I believe in prayer. Ask God to lead you to the right church for you and your family.
2) Start your search locally. A church is not a building. It's the people. And when you join a church, you want to really join it. You are joining with a group of people - with whom you will (hopefully) form close friendships. You want to find a church that is in your community. In some cases, it may be necessary to commute 30 or minutes each way to church, but that is not the ideal. You want a situation that is convenient for you and your family - not because it's about you. But because you want to remove as many obstacles and impediments to your involvement as possible. Join a church that you will be able to easily fellowship with. So, start your search locally.
3) Consider your whole family. Whether you're the husband or wife, don't join a church that YOU like, but that the rest of your family doesn't. Going to church should be an experience that uplifts and further unites your family. It should not be the source of conflict. If you're a parent, think about your kids and their situation. Look at the church and all its ministries and opportunities with your whole family in mind. I'm not recommending a consumerist mentality. There are no perfect churches, and there may be some gaps in the church that YOU can help fill. But do consider your family in the decision.
4) Request a copy of their Statement of Faith. This is as important as steps 2 and 3. You need to know what the congregation you're considering believes. Obviously, as a Baptist pastor, I have some opinions as to what I think your church SHOULD believe. :) But this isn't about me. The head of the church is Jesus Christ, so make sure that the church is passionately dedicated to Him. I would also recommend a church committed to biblical authority, and not to the feelings and imaginations of people. The early church continued steadfastly in the "apostles' doctrine" (Acts 2:42). HOWEVER....
5) Does the church care more about people or issues? Visit the church - several times. One or two visits probably won't be enough. Talk to the people. Do they care more about your image, your ideology, or about YOU? Are they a warm, friendly, inviting church - or a cold, judgmental club? If the latter, get out.
6) If they have "Landmark" in their name, I'd approach with caution. I know that buzzword. It usually means ultra-fundamentalist and ultra-judgmental. I don't want to indict ALL of the churches out there with "Landmark" in the name. But the ones I've seen are not where I'd go to worship. They almost always fall in the category of caring more about doctrinal interpretations than about people?
7) Meet with the pastor. No pastor is perfect, so please don't have unrealistic expectations. But you want a pastor that you can trust, confide in, and who cares about you (and the others in the congregation). If the pastor is overly ambitioius, image-conscious, or prideful, consider a different church. And look at the pastor's character and attitude more than his oratorical ability.
These seven tips should get you started. There are other preferences YOU may have (Bible version, music, multimedia, church size, etc.). But try to keep the main thing the main thing when it comes to church-shopping.
Jesus said: "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples. That you have love one toward another." LOVE is the characteristic of your best churches - love for God and love for people. Those are, after all, the greatest commandments.
If the church you're considering isn't fueled by love and known by love, keep looking until you find one that is - and do your part to keep it that way when you join.
Oh, and in case you haven't heard this addage...
"If you ever find the PERFECT church, don't join it. Because if you do, you'll ruin it." :)
