There are many critics of Christianity in the world today who outright object to the discussion of faith with children. In fact, in some countries, it is forbidden to share religious matters with children. And, of course, one need only look in America's backyard to see all the controversies stemming from religion in the public schools. In short, it is a sensitive and highly-charged issue.
So, how should people of faith discuss their faith with children?
The following guidelines are provided from an evangelical Christian perspective. Those with a different take on this subject are welcome to post their thoughts in the discussion forum.
1. Respect parental authority
Don't go around parents. Respect parents. If a parent does not want you to discuss your faith with their child, you need to respect that. Don't force yourself on an impressionable child against his or her parent's authority. Doing so could drive a wedge between that child and his/her parent - and create serious problems for that family.
Respect the parents. If they put a barrier up, respect that barrier. Period.
2. Don't use scare tactics
During the 1970s and 80s, there was a proliferation of graphic films shown in many fundamentalist churches - movies with names like "The Burning Hell." These films were shown to adults and children alike in many churches. It is no surprise that they were effective, especially among those highly impressionable.
In recent years, a new trend has emerged - the use of spiritually-themed "haunted houses" during Halloween. These Halloween-style haunted houses depict sin and its consequences in often gruesome ways. One of the most popular is the highly controversial "Hell House" ministry, sponsored by the New Destiny Christian Center.
Churches should be extremely careful, however, in this area. While Jesus speaks of hell more often than heaven and makes no effort to deny the reality of God's wrath (see John 3), the fact is that love is emphasized repeatedly over fear in the plan of salvation. Jesus stresses this theme of love repeatedly in the Gospels.
It is the opinion of this author (and pastor) that hell should not be used as a scare tactic. This is especially so with children. This is not to say that hell should be ignored or denied, but drawing a child to Christ through nightmarish scare tactics is a dangerous tactic - one not supported by Scripture. It is certainly not what Jesus practiced when ministering to children.
3. Emphasize the love of God
The greatest promise that God holds out for people is that He loves them. A relationship with God is eternal and should be the most special relationship one cherishes.
For a child, this is especially so. No matter what challenges he or she will face (peer pressure, bullying, temptations toward drugs, anxiety, etc.), they can know that there is a Supreme Creator God who knows them and loves them....unconditionally.
Yes, children need to taught about sin. But it should be from the perspective that God has much better things in store for them. When we sin, we remove ourselves from God's will, and that hurts us.
4. Listen
Finally.....learn to listen. Don't just preach, preach, preach. Don't talk DOWN to kids. Enjoy them. Listen to them. Be a friend to them. (If you're the parent, obviously, you are more than just a friend. Be their parent. Love them. Guide them. Disciple them, when you must. And be there for them).
Jesus brought the kids to him, so he could enjoy their company. The Bible does not record Jesus' teaching to the kids. But it does show how important they were to him, and that he took time for them. We need to model that example.
