Heavy Shepherding in Churches
Biblical Mentoring in the Church
Mentoring is a good thing and of course relevant today if carried out in the right (Biblical) way, for the right reasons. Titus 2 :3-5 shows older women basically how to mentor younger women correctly.
Furthermore, neither the young pastors (meaning shepherds) Timothy or Titus were novices in their Christian walk, yet Paul gave them Godly counsel inspired by the Holy Spirit.
Heavy Shepherding
A shepherd in David's time would lead from the front and use his staff sparingly yet when necessary use it without hesitation and always for the good of the sheep. Jesus is obviously the Good Shepherd and Elders and pastors should use His example and not turn mentoring into "life coaching" and impose restrictions that would impose on freedom in Christ. Many use the Bible for doctrine, reproof, correction and instruction in righteousness (c.f. 2 Tim 3:16)
Heavy shepherding can occur when an elder or Pastor carries out their leadership responsibilities in a controlling, dominating or manipulative manner. In effect, that person becomes a go between or a mediator when 1 Tim 2:5 states that, "there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus."
As a consequence mentors are often giving so called instruction in a generic unbiblical way that is certainly not helpful and results in putting a greater yolk on those they are counseling then the Lord Jesus did! Here are some examples.
Some mentors will justify whatever they think by preceding their point with "God told me" so the person concerned feels they have to do what the Pastor says even though the Bible contradicts it and the inner conviction from the Holy Spirit tells them otherwise.
Furthermore, if they are questioned they may respond saying "touch not the Lord's annointed" as an excuse to avoid the references to testing whether what is said is in fact biblical (c.f. 1 John 4:1) In such cases it is true that God has appointed people in authority, though it would be wise to take a leaf out of Peter's book -'we ought to follow God rather than men' .(Acts 5v29)
Tithing
Yes, tithing is biblical and Malachi reminds believers they should be tithing but when tithing is akin with the prosperity gospel and that the more someone gives the more they will receive back then they’re probably giving out of guilt and for the wrong reasons.
While heavy shepherds may contend that God wants everyone to be wealthy and if someone is not then they don't have enough faith it is important to remember that Jesus taught, "Foxes have holes, birds have nests but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." (Matt 8:20)
The idea of "be no man's debtor" has sometimes been taken to the unhealthy extreme of getting rid of a mortgage to automatically move to a smaller property or rent instead of buying by normal means and is not helpful. Others have advocated to not bother with insurance policies by the leadership as "God will look after you" and the same leaders have been caught taking out the same policies themselves.
Controlling decisions on who you someone dates or marries are not always helpful either. 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 provides the mandate for the principles of Christian marriage as is more essential than an individual's personal approval of a couple committing themselves to marriage.
After all, surely believers can seek God's counsel on these decisions and He has given His followers His Spirit who is the greatest counselor of all who will guide them into all truth (John 16:13). In short Biblical advice is useful and welcome but heavy shepherding isn't.
Excessive rules about dress conduct in church are not helpful either. Obviously members should dress appropriately and modestly and that goes without saying and sadly in churches it does sometimes needs addressing but there is no need to impose excessive restrictions on dress code that are not even contained in Scripture!
The above often applies also to where someone should live, where they work and how they spend their time. If advice is given it still needs to be tested (1 John 4:1, 1 Thess 5:21) It doesn't matter who is calling the shots! Somebody can say great things from the front, but their personal life can be simultaneously godless! Obviously, many believe there should be respect for elders but all are accountable to God first and foremost and should never bury their heads in the sand!
Good Shepherding
Peter brings these wise words to the attention of all believers when he says, "Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly: not as being lords over those entrusted to you but being examples to the flock: and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away." (1 Peter 5:2-4)
By the way elders means "undersheperd," pastors are "shepherds" and they are all accountable too the chief shepherd.
Mentoring Biblically Not Heavy Shepherding
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