Guidelines for Christian Singles
Biblical Principles on Dating, Love, and Relationships
What does the Bible have to say for Christian singles dating or seeking relationships? What does the Bible say about love, sex, and marriage?
What does the Bible say about Christian dating? Should Christians date in the first place? What does the Bible offer Christian singles? What spiritual guidance does it provide Christians looking for love and relationships? What about Christian romance, Christian sex (is that a conflict in terms?), or Christian marriage?
The Bible is one of the most comprehensive - if not THE most comprehensive - collection of books ever written. It addresses everything from romance and sex to famine and war, from hate to greed, and from forgiveness to love. And it addresses the questions and concerns of Christians who are single, committed to a relationship, married or divorced.
Christian Singles
The Bible asks followers of God to be completely and totally dependent upon and submissive to God. The writer of Proverbs, for example, cautions that people should not "lean unto their own understanding," but rather should allow God to "direct" their "paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Total surrender is the order of the day. So thorough is this surrender that Abraham was even called upon to offer up his beloved son, Isaac, on the altar as a blood sacrifice. Fortunately, he didn't have to go through with it, but it was only at the last minute that God intervened to save Isaac from Abraham's blade.
Those who put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ are called upon to present themselves as "living sacrifices" (Romans 12).
The applicaiton is clear: Christian singles must totally surrender their will, desire, and life to God - even if that means God wishes them to remain single.
Christian Dating
What if the Christian feels confident that God wants him or her to have a relationship? After all, the book of Genesis says that it is "not good for man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18)
The Bible does not specifically address dating, since that is a western invention of the Modern Age. However, the Bible does make it clear that God's plan for relationships is marriage. (Genesis 2:24) Dating in a casual, sexually free-spirited manner is incompatible with the biblical record.
Christian Sex
So, what about sex? Is the Bible against sex? Are Christians prudish when it comes to sex?
This misconception is one of the most unfortunate, yet persistent myths about Christianity. The Bible is not against sex. It was God, after all, who invented sex. (Genesis 1:28 and 2:25)
The simple fact of the matter, however, is that God designed sex for marriage (Genesis 2 and Hebrews 13:4). Of course, people - both then and now - dislike sexual boundaries. They want to explore and enjoy, and not be confined - especially in such a private and personal area of their life. But God's Word is clear. Sex is for marriage.
Christian Marriage
The entire purpose and object of "dating" should be marriage. While dating is not directly addressed in the Bible, the search for relationships (which is what dating is supposed to be) is very much a part of the Bible.
Yet in the Bible, those who followed God's leadership and guidance when searching for a soulmate (Isaac) fared better than those who tried to do it their own way (Jacob, David, Solomon, etc.)
Also, when it comes to marriage (and committed relationships on the road to marriage), the Bible cautions against being "unequally yoked with unbelievers" (II Corinthians 6:14). This doesn't mean Christians should be stand-offish or elitist. This is simply common sense! The Bible teaches that, in marriage, two become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). If the man and woman disagree on something as fundamental as Christianity itself, becoming "one flesh" is impossible.
God's Bottom Line Promise
None of this should be seen as a painful restriction or as God attempting to rob you of any joy. On the contrary, God's plan for marriage is to give you joy.
The bottom line is that God wants to bless you and to bring happiness into your life. What He asks for in return is your trust, obedience, and submission. By giving God those things, you can lay hold of the following promise...
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)
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The primary source for this article was the Bible.
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For more information, please see the blog entry "Advice on Christian Dating"
